


Things We Lost.

by sourbunnywolf



Category: Reign (TV)
Genre: Angst, Being Lost, Comfort/Angst, F/M, Feels, First Love, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Lost Love, Multi, One Shot, Short One Shot, Super angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-03
Updated: 2014-03-03
Packaged: 2018-01-14 09:17:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1261051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sourbunnywolf/pseuds/sourbunnywolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Spoilers for 1x13, sort of.]  After Lola spent time in Paris, and returned to court, she felt that ache return to her heart. She couldn't stop her thoughts from returning to her first love, Colin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things We Lost.

After that incident with Francis in Paris, Lady Lola never spoke of it to anyone. She had a moment with him, and it had turned to something more, however Lola knew better than to believe that Mary was no longer a part of his life; she should known that something would happen to bring him back to court. Life had funny way of doing that, didn't it? You do something that you would think will stay with you, but it ends up going in the opposite direction. 

She went to Paris for her brother, but ended up in Francis' arms, she wasn't even sure how it happened. Well, that wasn't true, they did have a lot of wine that night. But there was more to it than that, she hadn't been with another man since Colin. Part of her felt as if it was offense to their love, that she did this. He was her true love, or so she had thought before he was ripped away from her. She had thought that she wouldn't see him, but he came to her, because we couldn't be away from her. She had loved seeing him that day, but perhaps if he had stayed back in Scotland, he would be alive. As much as she would miss him, there wouldn't now be this empty void inside of her, that part inside her heart where Colin used to be. Still is.

Maybe she felt close to Francis, because not only did he understand how she felt, but it was like being closer to Colin, in a way. They both were fair-haired and blue-eyed, both kind to her, and very sweet. How could she not feel for the man who so reminded her of lost love, and empty spaces? He had filled her empty heart, for just a moment. It made her forget her pain, the pain that she had to hide from so many. Only that casual mention of Colin to Catherine was the most she had said since it happened. She was the strong one, the one that cared for others. She couldn't break down, or show emotions in a court that was full of deception. Who could she even speak to? The only person she could somewhat let her guard down was Francis, she knew that it would get her in the end however, but she let it happen regardless.

Now that she was back at the court, alone in her room, all she could think about was Colin. Those few words she had said to Francis, those little words that were meant as reassurance that he wasn't taking anything valuable away from her. In fact, it wasn't even Francis who would have taken that valuable thing away from her, it had been Catherine. Colin was the most valuable thing to her, and she hadn't even had to think twice about giving him her virtue. She loved him, was in love with him, and they were going to marry. But he was snatched from her, before they could be united as one being.

She missed the way he would smile at her, or take her into his arms to embrace her. He had kept the fears away when she told him about returning to France. He told her that he would wait for her, that he would always be there for her, that he would always love her. His voice filled her ears, and it made her heart swell with joy, as well as that ache she would get when she would think of him. Oh, how leaving him was one of the hardest things she had to do, but she owed it to Mary, to be there for her. What would she do now though, without Colin's arms, or that shy smile.

It reminded her of when she was back in Scotland, when things were much more simple. She never had to worry about anyone being used in a ploy about her best friend. Those moments when she would tend to her brothers, work in the open space, and just watch Colin. How much happiness that brought her was immense, it filled her heart to the brim, and then overflowed. She had so much love for him, and she never thought there would be any other man to ever make her feel that way. Yes, Francis had made her feel like that, but it was fleeting. Not how Colin ever made her feel; not only that but Francis was promised to another. Colin was only hers. She saw the way he adored her plainly written on his face, and how innocent he was to the the way the court worked.

She should have known something would wrong, when she left Colin alone with the Queen. So many if onlys, they wouldn't ever bring Colin back to her though. And now, she was left alone once again, with an empty bed and an even colder heart.


End file.
